Life, Death, and 50/50

I cried pretty fucking badly watching 50/50. Because it was about the thing I’m most afraid of - having to face the death of a loved one. The immense fear of losing a friend or family to death is the only thing I wish could be removed from me. It haunts me now and then, when even the slightest mundane thing can set off a chain reaction in my imagination. 

I just can’t imagine losing someone I love so, so dearly. Till now, I am lucky enough to not have to experience that. But I know someday, and that day will always come too soon, I would have to, and I seriously don’t know how that kind of sadness will affect me. I hope I learn how to cope with this fear when I get older and death becomes more apparent. But right now, I still don’t know how you can say goodbye knowing that there is a chance that the person might not come out alive, or how you can come to terms with an abrupt death, or how you can deal with someone’s absence.

Although there is a possibility that any one of us can die any day, it is ridiculous to let the fear of death stop you from having a full life. But that is also the saddest part about death. When one person dies, the world hardly skips a beat. Everything goes on. You die, people cry extensively for a while, but they have to carry on with their lives, whether they want to or not. Your death is just 1 in 7 billion - which makes it kind of trivial, even if it is a major event in your existence. 

To me, death is profoundly sad because life is fucking wonderful. It should never be taken for granted. We were given a body, a mind, and a heart to take in all that the universe has to offer. So no matter how bad things get, I’m just fucking grateful to be alive. That does make me sound like a fucking hippie, but I love my life too damn much to let it all end any time soon.

Introspection aside, 50/50 was a brilliant film because it didn’t whip out all the dramatic scenes which usually surrounds a death in a movie. The plot and actors imitated reality so well that it pulls you into the whole scenario, and you go through the whole film just like another character in it. That is why this one can really make you bawl.